【www.wfmzgg.com--经典笑话】
剧本主要是由台词和舞台指示组成的，是戏剧艺术创作的文本基础，编导与演员演出的依据。与剧本类似的词汇还包括脚本、剧作等等。它是以代言体方式为主，表现故事情节的文学样式。以下是小编整理的7人英语搞笑话剧剧本【4篇】，欢迎阅读与收藏。
【篇1】7人英语搞笑话剧剧本
甲：哈罗哈啰，（挥手）哈啰everybody.今天呢，我给大家说段相声，说说英语！（停一下，用手放在耳朵边作听的姿势）哦，这位奶奶问我怎么一个人说？当然是two啦，two啦。不过，我那搭档，从来就没准时过……您瞧，咱们说好9点钟演出的，这都8点60分了还没见他鬼影。
乙：I’mcoming，（动作夸张），Hi!说什么那？刚才我怎么听到什么two,猫呀，狗呀。
甲：嘘，什么猫，狗，你不要侮辱我的IQ，这是英语，English！
乙：English？（表示惊讶的表情）你怎么喜欢学英语了？太阳从北方升起哦！
甲：唉，我们老师说了！中-国加入WTO了，北京举办奥运成功了，外国人喜欢来中-国兜风了，我们学校连续三年都上湛江二中了！
乙：呀，呀，挺顺那.不过你好像发疯了！但话又说回来了，学好英语才能考上湛江二中啊。
甲：certainly啦。
乙：那你英语现在学得怎么样了？
甲：小case啦（骄傲状态），我们英语老师说学好英语主要是听、说、读、写。但其中最重要的是---说speak。
乙：是吗？那你说给大伙听听！
甲：你这人什么意思？
乙：怎么了？
甲：老师说我发音不好，你不是存心出我洋相吗？
乙：您误会了，我绝对不是那意思！
甲：那你什小品剧本大全么意思？我问你那！
乙：没关系，大家交流交流嘛！
甲：我不愿意！
乙：为什么？
甲：都没人给我鼓掌啊！掌声哪里？
。。。。
乙：大家掌声这么热烈，你来教教我英语怎么样？
甲：好，学英语第一要从25个字母学起
乙：25个字母啊？
甲：不，26个字母。好好听着吧！
乙：是
甲：注意我这个发音啊
乙：好
甲：A、B，对不
乙：对
A：A、B、C（塞）---DEnanfujiaicizekenanonanmn那
乙：这么读呀，好像是A、B、C、D、E（正确读音）
甲：好啦，好啦。算你对啦。第二学英语是要学会读单词
乙：单词？好，那来英语怎么说？
甲：来就是（卡博）come（重复一遍）
乙：（卡博）come，去呢？
甲：去是go,去是（狗）go
乙：go
甲：对，点头是yes，摇头是no，谢谢你说三克游。
乙：哇，verygood(咬)伸出大拇指做动作
甲：什么good(咬)，你的发音怎么这么不标准呢？
乙：那应该怎么说？
甲：你把舌头放在第三颗门牙上，这样。verygood(鼓滴)
乙：啊？good(鼓滴)，good(鼓滴)
甲：我连起来给你说说
乙：好啊
甲：来是come,去是go，点头yes,摇头no,见面时候说hello.Hello,hello,,lo,lo….
甲乙：来是come,去是go，点头就yes,摇头no,见面时候说hello.Hello,hello,hello,lo,lo….
甲：学英语还有就是句子。
乙：哦句子，交流的。
甲：比如说你见面的时候说Goodmorning.鼓捣毛宁"
乙：好，我想问你，我有一个朋友生日了，他来自UFO的？。。。
甲：（打断）UFO?你朋友是来自飞碟的吗？（惊讶）
乙：不是UFO，是USA的
甲：USA美国的，生日说Happybirthday!
乙：Happybirthday.生日快乐！
甲：今天你听了我讲的英语，感觉怎么样？
乙：verygood(鼓滴)
甲：真是知己呀，（热情握手）
乙：那你如何向我说感谢呢？
甲：三克油（口音），Thankyouverymuch.（快速说出）
乙：你讲得太快了，能不能放慢点？
甲：你不知道呀，英国话是这么快的，慢就不好听了。
三克油（口音），Thankyouverymuch.（快速说出）
乙：这样呀Thankyouverymuch.
甲：最后是通过唱英文歌来学习英语。
乙：唱歌呀，我最喜欢了。
甲：我给你唱首英文歌，怎么样？
乙：OK
甲：。。。。。都没伴奏呀
乙：我给你伴奏
甲：mama,doyouremember/妈妈你可曾记得
theoldstrawhatyougavetome/你送给我那草帽…（哭起来。。。）
乙：你哭什么哭呀！来小品剧本网，咱们一起来唱。
甲：好的。ABCDEFG，HIJDLMN，我在马路边捡到一分钱，看到警察叔叔说你好，Hello,你好。Hello.
Goodmorningtoyou.Goodmorningtoyou.Goodmorning,teacher,Goodmorningtoyou
乙：verygood.真爽。原来英语是这么有趣啊，看来我是要好好学习英语了。
甲：是呀，学好英语是重要的了。为了我们美好前途，那我们一起studyhard!
乙：好，comeon!加油！，studyhard!(举手表示决心)
甲：新的一年到了，此刻我向在座的学校领导、老师，同学们说声：
乙：（打断）Happybirthday!
合：（互相推一下）HappyNewYear!Byebye（挥手做鬼脸）最后鞠躬说Thankyou!Thankyouverymuch!
【篇2】7人英语搞笑话剧剧本
CollegeLife
一个简单的6人剧本，讲述大学生活的。
byBettyLiao
Cast
George
Mancy
Ken
Tida
Annie
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Characterdescriptions:
(G)George-HemajorsinEnvironmentScience.HisroommatesareKenandTida.Theyhaveabadrelationship.Hethinkshappinessismoreimportant.HisgirlfriendisMancy.
(K)Ken-Hefoolsaroundallthetime.Hedoesn’tknowwhatkindoflifehewants.Hehatesstudyinganddoesn’tliketobeblamed.
(T)Tida-Hedoesn’twanttospendtimemakingfriendswithKenandGeorge.Helikestocommunicatewithothersbycomputer.Computerishislife.
(M)Mancy-SheisGeorge’sgirlfriend.Shedoesn’thaveherownideas.ShewantstobewithGeorgeallthetime.Becauseofthereason,sheignoresAnnie’sfeelings.
(A)Annie-SheisMancy’sgoodfriend.ShelikesMancy.SheisveryweirdsoshehatesMancy’sfriends.ShewishesMancyandGeorgetobreakup.Butshedoesn’tlikeherevilthinking.
Plot:
Therearethreeroommateswhohaveabadrelationship,butamotorcycleaccidentchangestheirlives…..
SceneⅠ
(InGirls’Dorm)
M:IliketoeatnoodlesatHung-Linbecauseeverything’ssocheapthere.
A:Iknowyourfavoritefoodisnoodlesbecauseyoucaneatitasmuchasyoucan.Soyourlunchisnoodles,anddinnernoodles,too.Youalwayssay,“Annie,let’sgoeatatHung-Lin.(Theywalkhandinhand.)
M:We’refriends.Ourfriendshipwilllastforever.(Theylookateachother,andcrosstheirfingers.)
OS:Contrarytothegirls,Tida,KenandGeorgehaveabadrelationship.Theydon’tlikeeachother.
SceneⅡ
(Boys’Dorm)
MancyandGeorgegototheroomwithlaughter.
M:What’sthemostimportantthingforyou?
G:Happiness.Ithinkhappinessisthemostimportantthingintheworld.
M:Wow….Ilikeyourpoint.Whenyoulaugh,thewholeworldlaughswithyou.Butwhenyou’resad,you’retheonlyonethat’ssad.
T:Bequiet,OK?Ican’tconcentrateonplayingthecomputergames.Oh!Ilost.
K:It’stoolousyformetofallasleep.
(GeorgeandMancyjustkeeptalking.)
M:George,you’resohumorous.
T:(hitsthedesk)Nomoretalking.
(Atthesametime,Kenrunsoutoftheroombyslammingthedoorloudly.
AnniecallsMancy.)
M:Hello,thisisMancy.
A:Mancy,it’sAnnie.Whereareyou?I’vebeenwaitingforyouforanhour.Whathappened?
M:I’msorry,Annie,Iforgotourappointment.NowI’mwith…George…..
A:It’sokay,butIhopeyoucanspendsometimewithyourfriends.
M:Iknow.Nexttimewe’llgoouttohavefuntogether.
SceneⅢ
(Inclass)
K:Sorry,I’mlate.
(EveryonelaughsatKenbecausehelooksfunny.)
K:Whydidyoulockmeout?Icould’ttakemybookbag,orchange.ItoldyouthatIwasjustgoingtothetoiletforaminute.
G:Oh.It’snotmyfault.Iwentoutfirst,youcanaskTida.
T:Ididn’thearwhatyousaid.Ijustconcentratedonmycomputergames.
K:Comeon!Areyoukidding?I’mnothappyaboutthat.Pleasedon’tdothatagain.
T:Oh…OK.
A:Hey,Mancy.Howwasthemovieyesterday?
M:Hmm…I’dliketoseethemovie,butIhadadate.
A:Whowaswithyou?George?
M:Yes….
A:Mancy,I’msodisappointedthatyoufellinlovewithGeorge,andyouforgotme.Yousaidwewerefriendsforever.But….nowGeorgeisallyourlife.
M:Nomatterwhatyousaid,wearefriendsforever.
A:Idon’tthinkso.
K:Hey,Tida,GeorgeandMancyaregluedtogetherallday.Ithinktheycometoourroomtoooftentobothermedoinghomework.
T:Iagreewithyou.Ican’tplaymycomputergameswell.
(Thebellisringing.Everyoneisoutofclass.)
SceneⅣ
(Ontheroad)
M:Wherearewegoing?
G:We’regoingtoaniceplace.Ihaveabigsurpriseforyou.You’llbeveryinterestedinit.
M:Wow,I’msoexcited.Butyou’reridingtoofast.
G:That’sOK.
Oh,no!(GeorgeandMancyhaveamotorcycleaccident.)
SceneⅤ
(Inthehospital)
M:AreyouOK?
G:Oh…I’mOK.Don’tworry.Howaboutyou?
M:Justalittlehurt.
G:I’msosorry.
M:No,don’tsaythat.
G:Butthesurprise….
M:That’sOK.Wecangotothatspecialplacenexttime.Thedoctorsaidwecanleave.Canyouwalkbyyourself?
G:MaybeIneedawalkingstick.
SceneⅥ
(Intheboys’dorm)
K:Whathappenedtoyou?
G:Ihadamotorcycleaccident.
T:AreyouOK?
G:I’mfine,butithurtsalot..
K:Howdidithappen?
G:WhenIwasmakingaturn,Iwasridingtoofast,soIskidded.
T:Oh.Whydidyouridesofast?
G:BecauseIlikethefeelingofridingmotorcyclesfast.That’ssoexciting!
K:Butit’sdangerous.Youmightgetkilled.
T:Yeah,Ken’sright.Safetyistheonlywaytogohome.
G:Well,I’llbemorecarefulinthefuture.Thanksforyouradvice.
T:You’rehurt.Howareyougoingtoclasslater?
K:Wecanhelphimgotoclass.本文转自
T:That’sagoodidea.
G:Ireallyappreciateyourhelp.Inthepastwehadabadrelationship,butnowwe’regoodfriends.
K:Yeah,Ishouldfindsomethingmeaningfultodo,andmakemylifehappylikeyours.
T:IthinkthatIshouldopenmymind,thenlifewillbehappierthanbefore.
SceneⅦ
(Inthegirls’dorm)
A:Oh,my…AreyouOK?
M:Ifeeljustalittlepainful.
A:CanyouforgivemethatImisunderstoodyou?
M:I"vealreadyforgivenyou.Anyway,we’rebestfriends.
A:Thanks,I’lltreatyoutodinner….
M:Really?Wherewillwego?
A:Hung-Lin,ofcourse.
M:Oh,no!
【篇3】7人英语搞笑话剧剧本
Part One :新守株待兔第一幕：农夫与兔子A相遇
出场顺序与场景描述：
大树、松鼠开幕前已上场，大树站在台上，旁边趴着小松鼠。农夫上场前，大树可以变动造型。农夫先上场，独白；然后，大树独白。兔子A大树独白后上场，独白。
Farmer(农夫)：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]
Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Mynle English School. So, I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is Iphone 10！This is my watch! This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS! This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh, sorry.[扔掉苹果]Here it is![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~ You are out!!It’s my modern—hoe~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]
Tree A(树A)：I’m a tree!
Tree B(树B)：I’m a tree, too.
Tree A(树A)：I can do many things!
Tree B(树B)：I can do many things, too.
Tree A(树A)：I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！！！]
Tree B(树B)：I can sing,too[做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！！！]
Tree A(树A)：I can dance![跳四小天鹅]
Tree B(树B)：I can dance,too[跳四小天鹅]
[两棵树一直站在原地独白]
Squirrel(松鼠)：I am a squirrel. I am the friend of trees.[转一圈，爬在树旁,松鼠第一幕一直在树旁，随树而动]
Rabbit A (兔子A)：OK,I’m a rabbit. Now I’m just walking around here.
[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]
Farm(农夫)：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！[偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]
[农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]
Squirrel(松鼠)：[站在树旁焦虑的说]Be careful!
Rabbit A(兔子A)：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What do you want?
Farmer(农夫)：Huh…！I will kill U for lunch!
Rabbit A(兔子A)： Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到树后面，农夫追到树前]
Farmer(农夫)：Where~ are you going? Haha!
[农夫开了一枪“砰”(配音)。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪，没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。农夫又开枪，同上。农夫开始加快频率，火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪，躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。]
Rabbit A(兔子A) [自我陶醉中，边跳舞边说]You can"t hurt me! You can"t hurt me！
TreeA&B(树A&B)：[痛苦万分地齐声说]But…you…Hurt us!….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]
[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪，走到兔子面前，看着它。兔子猛然抬头发现]
Farmer(农夫)：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子，开枪，没声音，看看枪，示意没子弹了。兔子见状，非常兴奋地大笑起来]
Rabbit A(兔子A)：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now！[兴奋大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ！[倒地]
Squirrel(松鼠)：Oops!It’s dangerous here .I need to go now !(蹑手蹑脚的离场...)
Farmer(农夫)：OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [把兔子绑到树上。打呵欠]tired! I’ll eat you after sleeping.[倒地睡觉]（打鼾的声音）
Part two:新守株待兔第二幕：兔子A求助兔子B
出场顺序：
小鸟在听到农夫鼾声后出场，呼唤兔子A，兔子B在接到电话后出场。
Bird(小鸟)：[唤醒兔子A] Wake up. Wake up. Are you OK? What’s wrong with you ?
Rabbit A(兔子A)：[兔子很快醒了，看看四周，发现自己被绑了，很惊讶]Where am I? What happened? I...
Tree A(树A)：[指着农夫]He has caught you and wants to eat you.
Tree B(树B)：[做出怜惜状]Poor,Rabbit!
Rabbit A(兔子A)：What?! I must leave! But how ？
Bird(小鸟)：Let me help you. [解开绳子]Good luck，Rabbit![飞走退场]
Rabbit A(兔子A)：[东张西望，看到农夫的手机]I phone 10! Wow,how cool![放回原处。突然想起来]I phone! Maybe I can call some one to help me！[拿起手机,做出打电话的样子,声音低微，怕吵醒农夫] (配音：拨电话) Hello？
Rabbit B(兔子B)：Hello! This is Max.
Rabbit A(兔子A)：Hey Max.
Rabbit B(兔子B)：Oh,hey Richard!
Rabbit A(兔子A)：How are you?
Rabbit B(兔子B)：Fine,thank you. And U?
Rabbit A(兔子A)：I’m fine too! How is your mom?
Rabbit B(兔子B)：She is fine, thank you. And your mom?
Rabbit A(兔子A)：She is fine, too! How is your daddy?
Rabbit B(兔子B)：He’s fine, thank you! And your daddy?
Rabbit A(兔子A)：He’s fine , too! How…
Rabbit B(兔子B)：[打断兔子A的话]Eh..eh..eh~wait. But why do you call me? If you want borrow money？！…NO WAY!!! [声音发大]
Rabbit A(兔子A)：No no no! I’m in danger now! Come and help me!!!
Rabbit B(兔子B)：But where are you?
Rabbit A(兔子A)：I’m under a tree!
Rabbit B(兔子B)：[边打电话边在附近走，经过兔子A面前，两个人还没发现，兔子B极继续往前走]What can you see around you?
Rabbit A(兔子A)：I see a rabbit …that looks exactly like you!
Rabbit B(兔子B)：A rabbit…like me… OK!I’ll find you. Just a second! Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开退场]
[兔子A 打完电话，小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处，然后又很自觉地要把自己绑回了树上]
Part three:新守株待兔第三幕：农夫守株待兔A兔子B
出场顺序：
兔子A、树、农夫，兔子A独白后，兔子B上场。
Rabbit A(兔子A)：Haha! My friend will come and save me~!yeah! [兴奋过度，后仰，头又撞倒树上,倒地](虚弱地)Oh!Hurt! Call 110~Or 119?112?...Oh,forget it! I’m dying![作喉咙卡住声音，死去]
[兔子B上。]兔子B：I’m also a rabbit！I’m smart! I’m lovely! And I’m (作风情万种)handsome! （自我陶醉）[转头看自己右手边，却发现兔子A倒在地上]Oh,my!RichardI’m so sorry!I’m too late!5555555~~~~~~Richard![痛苦而夸张地转身敲打树B]
TreeB(树B)：(齐声说)Oh!Oh,don’t hit me.!Don’t hit me! Oh![树B朝地上倒，压倒兔子B]
Rabbit B(兔子B)：What? NO..NO!~~...I…can’t….breathe ……(作死了的声音)
Farmer(农夫)：[农夫一觉醒来。看见两只兔子] En..?Two rabbits! I remember I have caught just one?!Oh, thank god! How lucky I am![兴奋地一手提一只兔子，哼着小曲下场]
【篇4】7人英语搞笑话剧剧本
刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny’smother(jmforshort)
刘母lunch’smother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)
强盗burglars(abandc)
prologue序幕
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)
j:everybodysaysthati’mhenpecked,butinfact,i’mastrongtiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeiswusong.
译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。
(指着上台处的门大声道)i’mnotafraidofyou!
译：我才不怕你呢！
(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then,i’mafraidofwhom!mywifelunchiisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.sheisbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.allthisidonotcare.ionlywantshetobetenderthanme.butsheisnot!havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
mygod!whocanhelpme?(下)
译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？
act1第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作偷听状)
jm(拄拐棍上):ican!
(对门内)lunch!lunch!whereareyou?
l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’mhere!what’sup，mum?
jm:ihavetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmotherinlaw”.
l:ok.mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
jm:sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:neverinterruptme!
l:neverinterruptme!sinceimarriedyourson,thatterriblejohnny,ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
jm:butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)goandaskyourson.i’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)
act2
(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)
l:mum,i’mback!
lm:youareback?why?whathappened?
l:iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!ihavealreadytoldyou!whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterriblejohnny,itoldyouthatheisuglytupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.lookatyourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:neverinterruptme!
l:mum,i’mnotinterruptingyou.ijustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightok?and
i’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
lm(大喜):nicegirl!justnow,imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.hesaid:“ifyourdaughter
haven’tbeenmarried,ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”nowyouarefreeagain,i’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
l(惊愕):what?themayor’sson?themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)whatasillythingihavedone!(下)
act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(边走边道):lunch!lunch!wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)heretheyare!(闻一下)er!howsmelly!theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)lunchhasgone!ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’msohungry!butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)thisiswhatlunchalwayswears!imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!now
shehasgone.ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
jm(上):where’smybreakfast?where’slunch?hasn’tshegotupyet?
j:mum,can’tyouremember?lunchhasgone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well,totellyouthetruthjohnny,asonwithoutawifeissuseless.lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
j(立正敬礼):yesmadam!
act4
(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
a:heyyou!stopandlistentous!
theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
b:andiplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)
ab&c:giveusallyourmoney!
j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
a:whatbadluck!thisguyisbroken!
b:ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenotthingtoeattonight!
c:iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarrymissliulanzhinextmonth.wecangoand
robthewedding!
a&b:goodidea!
j(惊讶):what?what?lunchisgoingtogetmarried?it’simpossible!
ab&c:why?aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
j:butlunchismywife!wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)i’vegotanidea!youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?i’llgo
withyou.youtakethemoneyanditakethebride.
b:haveyougotanyexperience?
j:no.buti’vegotthis!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(j和三强盗跃至台中)
abc&j:heyyou!stopandlistentous!
a:theroadisbuiltbyme!
b:andiplantedonetree.
c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
j:giveusallyourmoney!
(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)
l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)
j(火冒三丈):howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向ms冲去）
(j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)
(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l，关切地问):honey,howareyou?
l(哭状):ihurtalot!
j:don’tcrybaby.i’llgoandfetchthemedicine.(下)
l(起身去追):waitforme!(跑下)
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